Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Many months of planning and buying different necessities has boiled down to this moment. This moment of worry yet excitement. A mix of emotions, counteracting with a mix of responsibilities,  leaving me with nothing but nerves. Nerves because of flight. Nerves because of location. Nerves because of lack of experience with photography. Nerves because of nerves.

I have been told, many times, how much I will change during this trip to Africa. People say that I will come back different. With much anticipation, I embark on a “trip of a lifetime” as it has been called. I have researched Tanzania- half to know what to expect, and half to steal some ideas for pictures- and have come to the conclusion that it is the most beautiful place in the world. Without even being there, I can already picture the sunset filled skies and elephant infested plains. In my wildest dreams, I imagine a scene somewhat similar to the Lion King movie. With insane monkeys raising a lion cub into a initiation to the wild and wildebeests trampling over the King of the Land. My concocted trip to Africa is going to be one of extreme excitement, hopefully longer than just an hour and forty-six minutes.

I can’t help but feel scared. Even though I know the safety of this trip is inevitable, I cannot control my emotions of extreme petrification. I don’t know the extent of what I will see or experience. I am afraid that I will witness what I see in the heart-wrenching commercials on television. The commercials with the children named either Mashubu or Volandi, both with long, sad, frowning faces and in-caved stomachs. The commercials that also make me change the channel because I feel like a horrible person. I wonder what will happen when I find that the commercial is unable to be changed and I cannot look away because I am seeing it through my own eyes instead of a glass screen. How will I react? How will I help them? I know I cannot merely leave them with a glance and a smile. We are supposed to bring pencils and animal shaped rubber-bands to distribute to the children, but I honestly don’t know how long that will leave them with happiness. Personally, a pencil and a rubber-band shaped like an animal would provide about 1.45 minutes of my attention, if even that.

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